| July 31, 2002 |
| Man Comes Up With Last Minute Costume
SAN JOSE-- Local man Michael Goodson found that, sometimes, necessity really is the mother of invention. Goodson became worried when he realized he had forgotten to get a costume to wear to the annual Stride With Pride event held in San Francisco's Mission Delores Park in the Castro District. "All of my friends and ex-partners were going to be there," Goodson said. "Gary, Russell, Steven, Kenneth, Renaldo... they were all carpooling up there, and I would have been so embarrassed if I couldn't show up without something." Goodson recalled a previous conversation many weeks before with friends at The Manhole, a popular alternative lifestyle nightclub. "We had been talking about the lack of gay superheroes in pop culture, and Brandon mentioned how funny it would be to see a Captain Faggo. So I took that idea and ran with it," Goodson said. Goodson took an old pair of pink tights, sans undergarments, and fashioned himself a cape out of pink faux-satin table cloth. He then used the skills he had gained during a "Stencilling With Style" seminar at a local crafts store on a LaCoste polo shirt, spelling "Captain Faggo" across the front in multi-colored glitter gems. As a final touch, he donned a curly white wig. "Everyone loved it," Goodson said. "There was no way I could have come up with a better costume idea if I had planned it out." 
|
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 3:55 PM |
| July 30, 2002 |
| What we are doing. If you care.
Tonight AoWC and I will closely monitor the Creamery for any and all lag. So please, show up, play a little and help me lag that thing! AoWC has offered to move us to a new server tomorrow. We are also working on some other solutions so please keep your eyes posted here for news and updated server IPs. It is somewhat uncertain what the final outcome will be. |
| posted
by cattle
at 3:02 PM |
| July 29, 2002 |
| Shiny, New Creamery
Our server has been reinstalled and is ready for some gayness! I will be uploading our custom maps and configs throughout the day. It should be all set for some Monday night tom-foolery. |
| posted
by cattle
at 9:46 AM |
| July 28, 2002 |
| Server News: The Sunday Edition
Hopefully the server lag and wackiness will finally be coming to an end. In an exchange that almost rivals TMC's "My ISP Woooooooooooooos" saga, AoWC has suggested that they completely reinstall our CS server and start from scratch. What does this mean for you guys? Well at this point, I am not really sure. It may mean an IP change. It may mean some server downtime. I have asked them to take care of it as soon as they can and preferrably during our non-peak A.M. hours. In any case, it should mean that the server will be faster and gayer than ever. I'll keep you guys updated as soon as I find out anything. Thanks homos. |
| posted
by cattle
at 9:12 AM |
| July 27, 2002 |
| Team Balancer and Server News
It is currently 2 P.M. PST and the Cream is down due to some retarded AoWC reason. I have been bugging them about it and they assure me that they are working on it. They have been working on it for almost 5 hours now.... Once I get the damn server back up I will be temorarliy disabling the team balancer. I still feel we need some sort of system in place, but it has been brought to my attention with various metaphors and adjetives that the team balancer in its current form is "unsatisfactory." Next week we will do some tweaks and make sure that it just affects Kaagee and Vo-man. |
| posted
by cattle
at 2:00 PM |
| July 26, 2002 |
| New Team Balancer
In an effort to combat teamstacking and general map landslides, I have installed a more "intelligent" teambalancer. You may have seen the same system on that non-existent server that is used to describe water. Instead of balancing teams soley based on number of players, this one makes decisions based on teamwins, kill/death ratios, and streaks. It also forces people to join the underdog team at all times. Let me know what you think of this system via the forums or an email. |
| posted
by cattle
at 11:57 AM |
| July 25, 2002 |
| Tally-Ho, Tallywhackers
In the news pipeline today is the Command Menu Editor from UKTerrorist. This utility provides you with an interface with which you can edit your CS VGUI in-game command menus. This program of course assumes that you have no idea how to open a text file and type or delete. In any case, visit the CME page here for more info and screenshots. Tomorrow we have planned for you an extensive wrapup of the CPL Summer Championship Event that ended yesterday in Dallas. No doubt you will be gripping the edges of your collective seats in raw anticipation until then. Check back tomorrow, feegs. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 5:48 PM |
| July 24, 2002 |
| New Map for you Drunks!
If you are like me, which some of you are, you love lame-ass maps. So grab yourself a case of your favorite spirit, whether it be beer, vodka, or vanilla extract and join the Cream in some de_scootathon2k. Take a classic like jeepathon, add some new ramps, remove the jeeps, add 10 Razor scooters and you have de_scootathon2k. Admins, please reserve this map for late-night drug induced stupors. Download it or be left unscooted. Funny You may have seen this before, but go see it again. dg_switch.mov |
| posted
by cattle
at 12:11 PM |
| July 23, 2002 |
| Make A Difference, Gays
The news on the CS scene has been pretty slow as of late, due to the CPL Pentium 4 Summer Championship in Dallas, which I have the distinct pleasure of telling you is 100% gay. In other news however, The-Creamery's Drive For Signatures Of The Cattle As World Dictator Petition has begun in full force. Read the full mission statement and sign up for this noble cause here. We beg of you, please sign. Do it for the children. We will keep you informed of the drive's progress, as well as when we finally send the petition to the United Nations. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 2:33 PM |
| July 22, 2002 |
| Website Research Completed
We have been conducting a research project over the past few months here, at the Creamery. All of the math is done and the final results are in. You guys are gay. Thank you, and please go about your business. |
| posted
by cattle
at 3:00 PM |
| July 19, 2002 |
| Your Gay Newsfix
Valve Anti-Cheat modules have been updated yet again, this time it takes care of the OGC OpenGL 2.0 wallhack. Honest homos everywhere can rejoice. And homos using outdated video cards can rejoice too, as the new module fixes the Voodoo problems I mentioned earlier. In other gay news, Israeli DJ B.a.r. has turned a collection of random CS noises into The CS Instrumental. I always thought if you were an Israeli DJ it might be cool to name yourself Dr. Dreidel or Ice Berg, but what do I know. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 2:59 PM |
| July 17, 2002 |
| Valve Anti-Cheats
Valve's Eric Smith sent word along the HLDS mailing list that the server security modules have been updated again to detect OGC OpenGL Hack v1.8 and 1.9. The server updates occur automagically on secure servers such as The Cream, so we'll be protected. There are, however, a couple of issues that are going to be dealt with soon with in the next update. OGC has already released v2.0 of their OpenGL hack, which means there's still going to be cheaters for at least the next day or so. Keep your eyes open for wallhackers. Secondly, and more importantly, those of you running 3Dfx Voodoo 3500's running in OpenGL mode may find yourselves generating false-positives for cheats. To forestall this, go to your video options and run the 3Dfx Mini-Driver instead of OpenGL. You might get a FPS hit if you do so, but at least you won't be generating false-positives. I have been assured that this problem and the new wallhack versions will be fixed in short order. Vo-Man, however, will continue to cheat his ass off uncontested. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 3:32 PM |
| July 16, 2002 |
| Meat and Backstabbing
Be a part of the welcome wagon for IamNINJA's return to the west coast. Eat meat, drink beer, and comment on Crippler's choice of outfit. Details here. |
| posted
by cattle
at 8:48 AM |
| July 15, 2002 |
| State Of The-Creamery Address
CS news seems to have been on a downward spiral in the past week, unless you count the recent pathetic attempts at simulating Counter-Strike in its (tossed) salad days. I have personally counted no less than 5 new "beta CS" mods released in the past two weeks alone, each with varying degrees of success. I dunno about you guys, but I really don't find too much appeal in playing CS the way-it-used-to-be, if the way it used to be is full of bunnyhoppers and cheaters. So, given the recent lack of interesting Cream-worthy CS news, I will now take this opportunity to give my State Of The-Creamery Address. Enjoy. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 5:09 PM |
| July 10, 2002 |
| Website Downtime
You will have to do without your daily dose of the Cream site and forums for a brief, 24-hour period. The-Creamery.org will be down for approximately 24 hours beginning at 4 PM tomorrow (Thursday the 11th). The game server will be unaffected by this. Use this opportunity to come check out the Creamery IRC room via random gamesnet west. Banker_From_Boston is known to say funny things on occasion. |
| posted
by cattle
at 10:55 PM |
| New WADs
Yes that's right, new WADs. No, not that kind of wad (although this man would be happy to provide you with that kind of wad). The kind of .WADs you find in your Counter-Strike directory that make your maps look all purty. This site, .WAD Edit, recently opened up for bidness and soon will offer customized .WADs for your viewing pleasure. The only .WAD they currently offer is for de_dust, giving it a makeover. Get some screenshots and download the de_dust .WAD here. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 2:59 PM |
| July 9, 2002 |
| "Lag Jump" Disabled....again
It is back to being disabled. Sorry it got wacky on me for a while. To keep with my theme, I am going to blame it on AoWC. Damn you AoWC! |
| posted
by cattle
at 11:46 AM |
| July 8, 2002 |
| Greetings, Gaywads
Time for me to make my formal introduction. Many of you may know me from my gay antics in the Creamery server, my homophilic rants in the forums, or my all-night techno orgies where I pass out free ecstacy and water-soluble lubricants. For those of you who aren't familiar with me, my name is TorchedN00dle, and I will be supplying Creamery visitors with an endless supply of gay news, CS tips, and rants masquerading as helpful information. I'm also an Aquarius, I like taking long walks on the beach, and I'm not afraid to cry. Here is a photo of me, taken last week. You can usually find me here at the Cream, or see my (unfortunately) straight newsposting style at CS-Nation. Feel free to fire off an e-mail telling me how much I suck, or asking how much I charge to suck. |
| posted
by torchednoodle
at 1:44 PM |
| July 6, 2002 |
| CreamSPY Online now Live!!!
See who is playing on the Cream right now! The link is to your left. Thanks to tickle for getting this fancy shit up-and-running for us! |
| posted
by cattle
at 11:10 AM |
| July 5, 2002 |
| New Stuff On the Cream
You will notice some new things here on The-Creamery homepage. You can expect the gayest in all CS news provided by our resident fagtastic news homo, TorchedN00dle. CreamSpy online will let you check in on the status of the server right here from the homepage. It will be up shortly. And you will notice that the forums have been divided into some more sub-categories. Please do your best to put your posts in the correct areas. We are still deciding if we need to set up a "Filthy's Random Images" forum. |
| posted
by cattle
at 6:54 PM |
07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002 08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002 09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002 10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002 11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002 12/01/2002 - 12/31/2002 01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003 02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003 03/01/2003 - 03/31/2003 04/01/2003 - 04/30/2003 05/01/2003 - 05/31/2003 06/01/2003 - 06/30/2003 07/01/2003 - 07/31/2003 08/01/2003 - 08/31/2003 10/01/2003 - 10/31/2003 11/01/2003 - 11/30/2003 12/01/2003 - 12/31/2003 01/01/2004 - 01/31/2004 02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004 03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004 04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004 06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004 08/01/2004 - 08/31/2004 09/01/2004 - 09/30/2004 10/01/2004 - 10/31/2004 11/01/2004 - 11/30/2004 12/01/2004 - 12/31/2004 01/01/2005 - 01/31/2005 10/01/2005 - 10/31/2005 11/01/2005 - 11/30/2005 03/01/2006 - 03/31/2006
